


4AM Knows All My Secrets

by castielslashdean



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Destiel - Freeform, Hell, M/M, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-29
Updated: 2013-10-29
Packaged: 2017-12-30 21:32:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1023612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/castielslashdean/pseuds/castielslashdean
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A short, Destiel one shot in which Dean confesses one of his darkest secrets, and Castiel proves him wrong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	4AM Knows All My Secrets

“Sometimes, I don’t know why you saved me.” The statement came out in the middle of the night, accompanied by heavy eyes and a rough voice. Dean only said these sorts of things in the safety of the dark, when he knew Castiel’s eyes could not search his own. His arms tightened around the ex-angel, letting him know that though he did not understand why he stuck around, Dean did not want him to leave.  
“Why would you say something like that?” Castiel whispered, turning over in his hunter’s embrace, so he might see his face. It was too dark.  
“I was already a lost cause. My soul was dirty, I’d given in. What was the point in saving me?”  
It was a loaded question. Dean wasn’t really asking why; he wanted to know if Castiel regretted his decision.  
“It was my mission to save you, ‘dirty’ soul or not,” Castiel replied. The answer was loaded too.  
“You could’ve let someone else do it. Wasn’t I supposed to belong to Michael? Why not just let him pull me out?”  
They laid in silence for a moment while Castiel gathered his thoughts. Being human was so limiting. He had to find words to string together, to explain himself, rather than showing Dean how he felt when he found him. He could no longer force visions and memories onto the hunter; he had to describe them.  
“I’d been fighting for so long,” Castiel began finally. “I hadn’t seen the sun in years. Everything in hell was so dank, so ugly… I was starving for light. And then I saw it, your torn and tattered soul, still shinning bright. But for every second you spent there, you were dimming, I could not stand the thought of your light going out.”  
The answer was so blunt, so honest; Dean did not know what to say. For once, he was at a loss.  
“I miss it, sometimes,” Castiel confessed quietly.  
“Miss what?”  
“Being able to see your soul. In a crowd of hundreds, I could find you in seconds, because you were so bright. Now I have to look closely, try to distinguish you by looks. Humans are so similar on the outside.”  
“Are you saying I’m not pretty?” Dean asked, feigning offence.  
“Absolutely not. You’re emerald eyes, your speckled skin, your crooked smile… they are all stunning. But you do not know beauty until you have seen a human soul… until you have seen your soul. It is damaged, and worn… and though you have every right to be dim and weak, you burn on, strong. There is something very human about that. And let me tell you, Dean Winchester, humanity is beautiful.”  
Castiel tilted his head up, somehow finding Dean’s lips in the dark. Dean smiled against the kiss, closing his now wet eyes. Not for the first time, he was thankful for the cover that the night provided.  
“…I love you, Cas.” Another truth Dean saved for the dark.  
“I know.”  
The hunter didn’t have to say it in the light of day for Castiel to know it was true. After all, they had found each other in the dark.


End file.
